Pfunksfoolosophy

Well, I’ve been off the blog for a couple of days in order to process something that happened on Thursday evening. As many of you faithful readers know, I’ve been trying the craigslist dating. I think I’m just doing it to have material for my blog, but it’s free and it’s relatively easy and those penis photos keep on coming so I’m going to have a very detailed coffee table book–it’s a win/win. Although, some of those penises look very, very angry. A couple even looked disappointed. There was no lack of personality in any of them, though and that’s encouraging.

Okay, so I choose one man  who emails me with a charming, witty response and I reply in kind. We exchange quite a few emails, but he’s reluctant to send his photo without having me send mine first. Hmmm, he is the one pursuing me…red flag number one. After a few more emails–stalemate, so I decide to tell him that I’m taking a pass. No harm, no foul.

The next day, I have an email from him with a photo. It wasn’t terribly flattering, but I look past that and assume that he doesn’t normally have a surprised expression on his face and that he probably combs his hair. Red flag number 2. He must be desperate to meet me if he sent that photo. But I ignore the red flags and forge ahead. Yep, I send him my headshot, which is rather fetching and 10 years old…but I look the same. Don’t know  why that is, but it’s great. He responds, tells me that he’s got to go out of town for a couple of days…which now I believe to be a back up story in case the meeting doesn’t go well, and suggests that we meet that evening. We do.
He’s new to the city, so he tells me that he got lost getting to my favorite watering hole. Quite improbable since I gave him very detailed directions should he take a cab. Red flag #3. He looks closer to 50 than I do. He is also a good bit shorter than he had claimed.

I am taken aback, but I give him a hug and welcome him to my part of the world. We go inside the bar and he commences to coughing like he’s going to hork. I suggest a glass of water. He demures. I am stymied and a bit concerned for his health. He’s not a young man…this could lead to a heart attack. He could fall off the bar stool and break a hip. Who knows? (oh, he wasn’t that old. i’m exaggerating for dramatic effect)

Without going into much more detail, suffice it to say that I thought he was going outside to speak on the phone and he disappeared. A bar patron and friend told me that he took off around the corner. I was DITCHED?!? Why is that funny to me? I mean, he ain’t no trip to Hawaii…I’m sure part of my ego has been damaged but for the life of me, I can’t see how.
Wow…dude ditched me. I wasn’t even planning on letting it get anywhere and the dude ditched me. I had to call him. He told me that he was really, suddenly sick and would ring me the next day. No call. No surprise. He was found out. He wasn’t 30. He wasn’t even 34. He also wasn’t 5′11″.  He also wasn’t very funny. But I got a blog post out of it. He earned his keep. And now on to the next respondent. It’s not so bad,this craigslist…I mean, if you work it right, you get a couple of drinks out of the deal and you’re left to flirt with the cute boys who come in after your date ditches you.

win/win. I LOVE that.