Pfunksfoolosophy

Guys: remember when I had that Paris Hilton dream that got me all nutted up?
Okay, so it was just yesterday but I had to refresh your memory…yeah, well in the dream she was cryin’ like a runaway slave and she was trying to get on a train. The ticket agent was Beah Richards (she’s passed on to her great reward) and I was in the company of Marlon Brando, who hogged the blanket. We were in a sleeper.

ANYWAY, the thing is that she was bawling (Paris) and we were all ignoring her, so she couldn’t get a ticket for the train.

What does all this MEAN, Amazing Larry? I don’t know. Just wanted to share. I happen to think that G-d really loves effin’ with me. He gives me clairvoyance but never at the right time. I would love to predict the winning lottery numbers a good deal sooner than seconds before they are drawn. A gift? A curse? You decide.
This Paris Hilton stuff is funny as hell, though. Wonder if I’m gonna be in a porno.

Hmm. Gosh I hope not. That night vision stuff creeps me out.

Back to craigslist. Nothing interesting, by the way. Gonna have to start casting my net out of state.

More on this story as it develops.

This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn. Why? I have no idea. I didn’t have an early appointment, there were no pressing matters requiring my immediate attention yet my eyes popped open. Since I couldn’t get back to sleep, I sat up and tried to remember the last dream that I had. This is what is so very disturbing…my last mental picture was of Paris Hilton.
Paris.Hilton. WHY?!?! I really don’t keep up on the events that shape her wretched life, although the media makes it very difficult for most of us. Is she trying to tell me something? Is my higher self interested in her jail term?
Nope. I think it must have been the taquitos that I had at a late hour. There is no way that I would have a thought about Paris Hilton consciously because I have no interest in her.
Sometimes I think she’s a tranny but that’s just to make life more interesting.
My imagination runs wild and that drives me to create wonderfully fantastic stories about celebrities. Usually I have an unnatural interest in Liza Minnelli. She’s just so ‘out there’ that she’s a great foil for me.
But, rising when dawn is cracking and having my first thought be of Paris Hilton?
Yikes, man. No more late night snacking.
No more.
Taquitos are yummy, though. I’ll have to plant a good thought in my subconscious before bed.

Today is my nephew/son Tristan’s birthday.
It’s a bittersweet day because he’s currently in jail. He fell in with a stupid crowd of miscreants
and he’s the one to take the fall.
He’s such a sweet, funny, intelligent young man. He’s creative and he’s energetic, but to be
perfectly frank, he’s depressed.
His mom died when he was 2 and he’s just now gotten to know his father and is father’s side
of the family. Adding to this is the fact that I am the only mother he’s known and I moved to
California when he was around 10 or 11.
Stupidly, I thought that I had created a strong enough foundation and set up a great support system for him so that when I moved, he wouldn’t fall by the wayside.
I was wrong. My mother is the grandmother. She didn’t step up simply because she’s relied on
me for so long that I think a part of her felt that I could magically nurture him from 3,000
miles away.
I did the best that I could. My brother, selfish prick that he is, only added to the tension
and confusion. Instead of being a positive role model, my brother often came home drunk and verbally abusive.
He berated when he could have nurtured.
A huge part of me feels heartsick that I didn’t have the energy to remain home until
both kids were older.
I was exhausted. Being an instant mom at 21 was difficult, but when you’re young you don’t think; you just dive right in. I did the best that I could with the tools that I had and now
my lovely young man is in jail.
He’s alone on his birthday. Well, he’s not alone. He’s with criminals who never had the homelife
that he had.
He can’t reminisce about game night or our many mystery rides.
My baby is locked up and sad.
He’s fighting for his life with Corrections Officers who see him as just another nigger who
got what he deserved and they’re likely treating him horribly, speaking to him as if he
wasn’t human.
Tristan isn’t some innocent babe in the woods, he was caught with marijuana. A joint’s worth.
He was targeted because of the company he kept.
He was hardheaded and didn’t listen when I urged him to cultivate a better class of
associates and now he’s paying the price.
It doesn’t hurt any less.

Happy birthday, T-man. Keep working to make the future I know you can create.
A future that is positive and productive.
The future your mother wanted for you and the future that I see for you.

Lately, I’ve been trying to get my ‘ducks in a row’ as it were and I’ve come to the realization
that I should just stick to my original game plan which is to just wing it. Life is life, you know?
We’re not in control of much and I realize this.
So, with that said…
I went to work yesterday, PLANNING to be out of there by 11:30 at the latest and home by
12:30 AT THE LATEST.
Well, due to the fact that theater people have no concept of time I was home at 2 AM.
Yep, at morning.
I was not charmed.
One of the owners was there. He was not charmed either, but what can you do?
So, I was out of there later than expected and then the joy of the subway system in NYC…
“Hey, I’ll take the ‘C’ train…it’s closer to work and I won’t have to walk to seventh for the 2″
Well, the ‘C’ train was running…sort of…it was planes, trains and rickshaw for yours truly.
By the time I got home, I was too exhausted to blog and too frustrated to even snack.
That is completely unlike me.
I always want a snack.

On the positive side, I met a couple who were friendly, funny and worked in the theater.
Possible clients. Also, I made a killer salad for my at work dinner.
Marinated tomatoes, red onions and cukes in wine vinegar and olive oil, hard boiled a couple of eggs and then added some herb and garlic feta to an Italian salad mix.
So, eating made me very, very happy.
Across the street from my job is a lovely Chinese bakery.
They have sesame balls. I love sesame balls. Okay, they’re not piping hot, which is the preferred
method of enjoying them, but they’re sixty cents.
I love a bargain. The folks at the bakery love me already. I’m a repeat customer.
They’ve even started telling me when they’re going to make my favorite items so I can get them fresh.
I love that.
SO, maybe it wasn’t a total loss and maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself because
I want to have a sense of entitlement.
Eh, you know…I find my joy every day. I can’t complain for long.
Life is good.
Remember when I was complaining because I didn’t have a job?
Yeah, I do. It’s pretty cool when I can give myself a wake up call.
I’m over it. This started out as a rant, but I’m thankful and I’m grateful and I’m blessed.
My friend David had a birthday yesterday and I got my call in to him before it was too late.
He phoned me back, so we shared the laughter and the love.
Who can complain when there’s so much love to share?

Okay, another semi-crisis has been successfully avoided and I am now able to walk through
this life in a state of gratitude.
Hope it lasts a loooong time.

Hi there…for some reason I was having a load of trouble accessing my account.
Still don’t know why, but I have access today and I am very, very glad.
Going to inquire the powers that be, but until then…let’s get you all up to speed.

First, I’ve been getting used to being employed outside of the house and while it’s really
groovy, I have to tell you that wearing clothes again has been an adjustment.
Sure, I wear ‘clothes’ but they usually don’t match and I like to call it my ‘Ellis Island Collection’.
But, I’m happy to be among the employed so I will not complain.
Next, as you may all know I am really getting into the online dating thing.
At first it was because I just wanted a partner in crime, so to speak. Now, I realize that it’s fodder for my blog.
For some reason I really attract some loo-loos. This makes me happy.
Very, very happy indeed.
My latest foray into the online dating scene was prompted by my good pal Angie, whose blogs are
in my blog roll (you should check them out, they are delightful). She suggested plenty of fish, which is entirely free and user friendly.
The thing about free online dating sites is that you have very little to assist you in weeding out
the ‘players’ from the sincere folks.
Case in point: one of the features on plenty of fish allows you to allow only those seeking a long term relationship to contact you…the guys who are lookin’ for a little bit of the ’shush’ shouldn’t be able to email you with their come ons, right?
Wrong. This one guy sent me a very poorly written treatise on his ‘likes’ and ‘desires’.
Seems he has a particular fondness for the shapely, curvy Negress and enjoys ‘pleasing’ them.
He attached a photo.
While it wasn’t of his penis, as I have grown accustomed, it WAS a shocker.
He was a combination Charles Manson/Unibomber type with some kind of cockatiel hairstyle that
prompted my one word response to him: Yikes.
He emailed me and told me that I should really give him a try, as no one has complained yet.
It is my belief that no one has complained because the bodies have not been found.
Just a gut feeling.
I trust my gut. My gut often can’t tell me when I’m full, but I trust it in this regard.
Somehow I picure him living in the basement of his mother’s house. He probably has
Dukes of Hazzard bedding and every porn magazine ever published. He keeps them in magazine binders and they’re in chronological order–cross referenced according to kink.

If you’ve ever wondered where all of the porno guys hang out, some of them are on Craigslist and some of them are on plenty of fish. I think they’re financially stable, though. They’ve got to be saving a ton of cash by living with their parents.
Maybe they spend their money on porn and ‘toys’, which our cockatiel pal mentioned frequently in
his disturbing email.
I know, I know…I was just asking for it…I responded. I could have ignored him.
There is a part of me that’s just passive aggressive enough to engage with these types.
Sometimes I run out of subjects for my blog.

Well, I’ve got to get some rest. Tomorrow I have work. I’m so excited. I just can’t hide it.

Please keep a good thought that I’ll have this glitch in the matrix fixed and won’t have to resort to using other means in order to entertain you all.

All the best.