Pfunksfoolosophy

Okay, so I am a little nuts about Physics and the time travel thing…I’m fascinated, you understand.

Well,  get a load of this: it seems that some German physicists have broken the speed of light. Check it out…

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ear…eed116.xml

 Okay, it doesn’t mean that it’s possible…it just means that Einstein, my other boyfriend, sorta limited himself…because he didn’t have the technology. Imagine that? I think that Hawking would still be right about creating  a paradox–especially if you could arrive before you left…yikes.

How cool is this discovery, though?
Yes, yes…I know…I’m a dork.

I may have to go back to school. I LOVE Physics. Well, astrophysics.

Catchy title meant to entice you, but in all truth…not much of a caper.

I placed an ad, it clearly stated my likes, dislikes and specified that I wasn’t interested in bitter married men. Now, a reasonable person would have thought, ’she’s not into married guys’ NOT, ‘well, I’m married but not bitter…I’m gonna give it a whirl…detailing my sexual prowess-at length’.

Should have been a whole lot more specific. Why? Well, my last email exchange was with a married man who was looking for ‘that spark’. I suggested he try to recapture the aforementioned with his spouse as I was not interested. He decided to debate the point. Big. Mistake.

I asked him why he got married if he was only going to disregard his vows. He told me that his wife (you guessed it) doesn’t understand him and his passions. I asked him why he married her. He told me that he loved her. She just wasn’t as sexual as he was. I couldn’t believe my eyes and told him as much. Told him to give me her email address.

The dude STILL emailed me asking me why I wouldn’t meet with him. I asked him if he had any mental problems for which a good dose of thorazine might be indicated. He didn’t see the  humor and called me emasculating.  Seems to me his manhood is intact. He’s got great big balls to cruise craigslist for women when he’s married. He didn’t like that response but had to have the last word. I didn’t want the last word. I used two.

Hmm…good stuff. I wonder how many married people have the nerve to go fishin’ in the singles pond but not enough to speak with their partner about their impending infidelity…

Wouldn’t it be easier to talk things out or go to therapy instead of betraying your spouse? I’m single for a reason. I take those vows very seriously and I’m mistrustful by nature.

(actually, I’m not. I know that I’m immature and selfish. and a slut)

I wish I could send out a newsletter with the email addresses of the married men who respond to my ads. What kind of idiot thinks his wife doesn’t  know how to read? ONE guy even has his photo on CL and  directed me to it! If I can see it, chances are his wife or one of her friends can too.

What a bunch of maroons. Communication is key in a relationship…all relationships. It’s not splitting the atom, here…sheesh.

Off to delete more emails.

It’s a fact that I come from a tight knit bunch. My mother is my best friend and she’s a ball of fire, that old broad. She’s also a pain denier…comes from a long  line of folks who just ‘keep on ticking’. My grandpa, her dad, was the type to drive  himself to the hospital when he was having a heart attack. To him it was an annoyance rather than a life threatening illness. Yeah, we just keep moving forward.

So it came as no surprise that Mom called early last week to tell me that she was going in for surgery at the beginning of next month. For a hernia. She’s been living with that pain for about SIX YEARS. I didn’t have the heart to rag at her. She thinks she’s ten feet tall and bullet proof and to tell ya the truth, I have often believed it.

So I’m going down to NC to take care of her. It will be great to see her since I’ve not seen her since October of last year. Can you believe it? That’s a mighty long  time for me…the gal who has the world’s longest umbilical cord.

I’m excited. I’ll get to hang out with Mom, and the  kids, finish my cookbook and blog in peace.

I need the break from the city. While I love NYC, it’s starting to get to me. I’m not  as bouncy and shiny and happy these days. Could be the lack of rest. Could be that I haven’t been in nature for a while…I don’t know.

The important thing is that I’ll be in the company of family. In the bosom of my mommy’s love. Taking a break from craigslist and the penis pictures and married men.

That’s for another post.

Keep reading. It’s not exciting, but it’s different.