Pfunksfoolosophy

And she knows why…

On this date in history in 1939,  the wonderfully colorful MGM musical “The Wizard of Oz” premiered at Graumann’s Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. That movie changed my life forever. Even if I can’t stand to hear ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ anymore, I still love that movie. How often do  I quote Professor Marvel? A LOT.

One thing that always steamed was that dumbarsed Winkie…remember that? Dorothy asks the Winkie guard if she can take the broom of the now vaporized (and misunderstood) Wicked Witch of the West back to the Wizard and he says the following: “Here. And take it with you!”

Okay, how  else was she gonna get it back to the Wizard if she didn’t take it with her?
We know why they were working for the witch, don’t we? Not a very bright bunch of folks, the Winkies. They had some rockin’ uniforms, though.

Ange…this fun fact to know and tell was brought to you by…Benadryl.

I’ve been watching the situation in Darfur a lot recently and while I’m no expert, it seems that it’s not getting much better.

It’s my belief that we are stewards and we’re not doing such a hot job.

Here’s a link to Mia Farrow’s site. I admire her for many reasons, chief among them her commitment to children and to peace.

Take a look; there’s a lot of information about what we can do to help.

http://www.miafarrow.org/

Still have insomnia. Yep, it’s that good old friend of mine. I’ve since stopped trying to fight it. Here’s what I do: I sit up and write. Oh, the writing is crap, but it’s something to do.

Might as well do something pro-active since my subconscious isn’t speaking to my conscious mind right now. I guess they’re having a quarrel. Who am I to get between them?
Life is funny. Not ha-ha, but it’s funny. There’s a lesson in this somewhere. Until I can figure it out, I’m going to go with the flow. Maybe I’ll trick myself back into my normal sleep routine.

I’m going to pretend that this is perfectly normal. See how my subconscious likes THAT.

Ha! That’ll learn it.

Yep, I’m slap happy. It goes with the territory. Warm milk makes me shudder so, I might have to cave in and take a pill. Pray that it doesn’t come to that because I don’t want to be a low rent ‘Valley of the Dolls’…I don’t think I could take Susan Hayward yellin’ at me.

When I was younger, my dream was to be a ballerina, an astronaut and a doctor. I felt that I could accomplish these dreams because no one ever said, ‘Hey, you’re already almost as tall as most male ballet dancers and you’re only seven’ or ‘An ASTRONAUT? Do you see any black astronauts?’ My parents told me that I could be whatever I chose to be as long as I worked hard. Mind you, they were leaning towards that doctor gig, but they didn’t rain on my parade. I took ballet lessons, I read about the cosmos and developed a crush on Carl Sagan as I grew up and I watched endless hours of medical shows. Remember, I grew up in the age of “Medical Center”, “Marcus Welby, MD”, and of course, my personal favorite, “Trapper John, MD” which gave me the triple whammy of Pernell Roberts, Brian Stokes Mitchell (he wasn’t using the “Stokes” then) and the ever lovely and talented, Gregory Harrison. (I’ve got a thing for curly haired guys, sue me).

I took courses that would help me achieve my goal, but then things changed. I started to realize that while I probably wouldn’t be any of those things I still had dreams. I didn’t lose hope because the others were unattainable…believe me, at five eleven I wouldn’t have made a prima ballerina or even the corps de ballet, but it wasn’t that. I had altered my goals and my desires because my head had finally listened to my soul and my heart.

Making people laugh, making them happy, being helpful and useful feeds me like nothing else does. I enjoy seeing faces light up with joy and often incredulity at my silliness. The muscles in my jaw relax when I know I’ve made a difference in someone’s life. When I encourage my kids to reach for their dreams, to keep them alive no matter what, I am positive that they’ll have confidence in what they do because someone believes in them.

How often do we discount our own dreams because they seem impossible? How many times have we used that negative self speak to talk ourselves out of something that could potentially be wonderful?
What does it matter if we don’t succeed right  off the bat? Will it kill us?
Nope, it won’t. So why are you waiting for some ship to come in?
Why are you impeding your own progress? You might not have the resources immediately available, but if you do your homework and make yourself available, chances are opportunity will knock loud and clear and you’ll be prepared.

It’s important to dream. It’s important to have goals. It’s just as vital that you prepare yourself. Don’t sit on the sidelines and say ‘I wish…’ Get on the field and make some noise.

That’s what I am telling myself every day and every day that voice gets louder and louder. That voice cheers me on to the next block when I’m too worn out emotionally to propel my feet another step. That voice drowns out any negative thoughts when I’m writing. It tells me that all things are possible if I’ll only believe.
What do you believe? Do you think you have the courage to walk with an open heart to your destiny?

The Doobie Brothers have a great line in one of their songs: You’ll always have the chance to give up…why do it now?

Keep on truckin’. Keep on dreaming. Keep on believing. The alternative is boring.

Any sap can give up and settle for what is familiar and safe. Take that first step.

Believe in yourself. You’re pretty spectacular.

Top 10 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Great

Since we could all use a pick me up, I thought I’d write something that would make you smile. Who doesn’t want to feel great?

10. Take a good long look at yourself. You’re pretty groovy. Smile. At yourself.

9. Remember the last time you did something that didn’t cost you a cent and how much fun you had. It could be driving with the radio blaring and singing at the top of your lungs or it could be that walk you took with a loved one…remember that feeling.

8. Put on your favorite ‘guilty pleasure’ song. Sing it at the top of your lungs and dance around with your hairbrush as your microphone. You rock like Pat Benatar never could.

7. Go looking for four leaf clovers with your kids. Do it by yourself.  You might just find one.

6. Appreciate the fact that while something is bound to happen that will nut you up, you’ll get through it because you CAN. You’ve got everything you need…sometimes you just don’t know it.

5. Call your best friend and talk about absolutely nothing.

4. Do a puzzle…but don’t finish it. If you have kids and they want to help, hide the last piece.

3. Forget where you’ve hidden it. Hours of delight in that one.

2. Laugh until whatever you’re drinking comes out of your nose.

1. Belch long and loud and clear….ah, wasn’t that liberating?

Now, if you don’t have kids that’s okay. Maybe you can borrow one for the day and get them hopped up on sugar. Return them to their parents. THAT is splendid.

Get out there and live, babies!

Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s the changes in my life…I can’t seem to get to sleep until after four in the morning.

Yikes, right? Yep, I am wide eyed and bushytailed at that time. My body KNOWS it needs rest yet I am awake, tossing and turning the better part of the night/morning.
What’s keeping me awake? Am I giving over to my subconscious mind? Is the committee taking over finally?
I have no bloody idea. To be sure, I’ve got a lot on my mind, but that’s nothing new. My concerns and challenges seldom change very much. Family, money, career…those are always up there, but I’ve been able to get to sleep before the crack of dawn.

Hmmm…let’s see…am I eating before bed? Nope.
Drinking alcohol? Nope.

SOMETHING is on my mind and I’ve got to let it go. I refuse to take any medications to get me to sleep. I’m not a pill popper. As a matter of fact, I’ve still got painkillers from my knee thing. Meditation…that’s got to be reintroduced into my daily routine.

Maybe I’m not getting back to my center. MAYBE? heh…yeah…it’s time to be a little more self aware. I’m not a machine.
All of this is making me wonder about why women feel the need to put ourselves last.

You know, it’s not just moms who do this…I think some women have the mindset that refuses to see how valuable constructive selfishness can be to our souls. I’m a prime example of that. The needs of others come before ours and we end up shortchanging ourselves because we feel ’selfish’ for caring and nurturing ourselves.

So, before you become the insomniac I’ve become, take some time for yourself. Learn to relax. Breathe through each moment. Apparently, I am writing this because I need to see it for myself. I need to hear myself. I have to give myself permission to think about myself.

That’s crazy, isn’t it? What’s more important than your health? So, gang…I’m off to make myself well. (Remember that line from the movie ‘Mask’? “Make yourself  well, baby.”)

For me, that means getting rest, eating well and moving. Movement is good. Growth is good. Time for me to listen to my own advice.

Can we commit to changing  the routine for ourselves? Let’s see how well we can take care of ourselves. 
Today, I charge you to do one thing for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do-just because you know that it’s good for you.

Here are a couple of examples:
Take some quiet time for yourself where you don’t think about what you have to do that day or the next day. Get a journal and write.

Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and sit someplace with a magazine.
Take a walk. Exercise is something your body needs. Keep doing it.

Don’t treat yourself to food if you’ve got food related issues. I know, I know…coming from a foodie, that sounds crazy, but consider this: If you already have a deep relationship with food and you’re trying to lose weight, it’s not a good idea to use food as a reward or a means of providing comfort.

Try treating yourself to healthier choices instead. Instead of getting fast food, how about you decide to utilize a healthier alternative.

Wear makeup today if you normally don’t. Even if you’re not going to leave the house. Pretty yourself up.

If you’re a guy reading this…really take some pride in your hair, your nails and your face. If your facial hair could use a good grooming…dude, get ‘er done.

If you replace one negative activity with a positive one, you’ll probably find yourself feeling better every day.

I know  I feel better already. Let’s see if we can’t all make it home okay.

Hey, when you think of some…shoot me an email.

NO…I’m joking.

10. You’ve found that you’re still alive. This is a bonus. Get up and boogie.

9. There is bound to be someone who is worse off than you. This is an opportunity to seek them out and give them a hand.

8. There’s a very good chance that you’ll forget that your purpose today was to help someone less fortunate. Take it upon yourself to consider yourself less fortunate. Get ice cream.

7. It’s a brand new day to make some money!

6. There’s got to be someone with whom you click humor-wise. Get in touch with them. You have the opportunity to LAUGH today.

5. Iced coffee. Can’t stress that enough.

4. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Okay, that’s three…but it’s still food…Counts as one thing.

3. People watching. If you work in an office, that’s gotta be prime real estate for goofing.

2. Free samples SOMEWHERE. Costco, Sam’s…the department store.

1. You get to read my blog!

Okay, that one wasn’t so groovy…but it’s a reason to get out of bed for me…

Yep, I watched  ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ but my niece phoned me during my viewing time and informed  me that I HAD to watch that show about the young guy dating both older  and younger women. I forget the name. Anyway, it was the thrilling conclusion, and being an older  woman who dates younger men, I was rooting for the 48 year old. She was cool, she was bright, as far as I could tell and she was secure in herself. The 25 year old was boring.

She had no personality and said she was ’shy’. The hell she was. She wasn’t willing to engage because she was banking on her ‘looks’ getting her by with the clan. The mom wants grandchildren, that’s why he picked the young chick. Can you hear the disappointment in my post? Now, I’d not watched the episodes preceding the finale, so I am no expert…however, I am quite clear on what was  going on…they sucked me in.

Those bastards! Why did I care? Was I making bets? Nope. My kid filled me in and I instantly became emotionally involved. I’m middle aged. The odds of me marrying someone my age or older are very, very slim. Okay, the odds of ME getting married are akin to the odds of Paris Hilton speaking at MIT. Wait–nope.

So, where  was I? These reality shows, which are the bane of any writer’s existence get me involved for a few minutes and then I feel like a complete sap. I don’t even remember their names.  I don’t care. But, my niece brought up something: once the guy has made his choice, does the ‘loser’ get to remain in Australia for a bit of a holiday or is she booted out of the country with her mascara still running? THAT would suck.

I hope that the old gal gets  her day in the sun with someone who is cool. She seemed  like an all right lady. Has a great job and looks at least 8 years younger than she is…vibrant, funny…but then again…I also watched that ‘Rock of Love’ show. What do I know?
All those women are nuts. It’s a funny show. Sad, but funny…

And I keep getting sucked back in because my life is pretty sane…relatively speaking.

Would I ever appear on a reality show just to give my career a boost? Nope. Not unless I could be like the house mother on a show like ‘Rock of Love’ or ‘America’s Next Top Model’.

On the former, I would keep them in check and on the latter, I’d fatten them up.

I guess it wouldn’t be worth watching. Who am I kidding? I’D tune in to see what some crazy woman was gonna do next to those hapless dames.

That’s reality worth watching.

Okay, I have to admit it…I watch this show. Gordon Ramsay is a horse’s arse. I think I should try out for the show because I think I’m the one person to cause him to have a stroke.

“La la la…” chopping veg.

Him: WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU GREAT COW?

Me: Hmmm…oh, getting my mise en place ready. No worries, guv’nuh!
Him: We’re minutes from SERVICE!
Me: Uh-huh…gotcha.

His head would be swirling like a top, poor guy.

I can’t wait for this week’s episode, although I don’t particularly care who wins. The whining ‘nanny’ is a bore, the unfortunate chinned gal, too…blech, and of course, the angry black man who really isn’t angry, he’s just male and black so any sign of emotion causes confusion and heartache…eh. He does nothing for me.

So,  I’m watching just to make fun of Ramsay. Man is he hard to look at. Remember ‘Coffee Cake” from ‘A Bronx Tale’? He’s his cousin.

Watch my column for my rundown on tonight’s episode.

Last night before I went to sleep I thought about how truly happy my life is, in part because of the great friends I’ve made and fostered over the years.

A very dear friend of mine and I were talking after viewing “The Two Coreys” (my new guilty pleasure) and our laughter far outweighed any heavier subjects that we delved into, but that was what was so cool. We easily, seamlessly glide off into different subjects- tangents, really without a thought about whether the other person will take offense.

Friends, real, true friends know one another well enough to care about what the other has to say. We may not agree and quite frankly, most of my friends are quite a bit more conservative than I am, but we are bound by love. Deep love for one another that is unconditional. Unconditional love isn’t a new concept, but it is something that most folks have a hard time grasping. “I would love him so much more if he would just-insert behavior}, “She’d be so awesome if she’d just…” That’s not what it’s about. Either you love the person or you don’t. Simple as that. Love is unconditional. “LIKE”, well that’s another story.

The great, best thing about having friends is that you can dump the crap that you have sitting on your heart at their doorstep and they can make the choice to help you sift through it or not. They can be strong when you’re feeling weak…for you, because of you and unconditionally. Usually, they’ll never bring it up unless you do. Friends can cheer you up or they can fan the fire.

With your closest of friends sometimes you are the flame fanner. I know that because of my capacity to empathize I often make things worse by inciting them to greater heights of anger. It happens. We laugh about it. Particularly my best friend and I. She’ll go off about something that happened and I’ll chime in a comment or two and realize I’ve just made her even angrier and I have to say, ‘Whoa, I’m pouring gasoline on it, huh?’ She’ll laugh and call me a ‘fire fanner’ and we’ll move forward. Even that is funny. You’re so linked to that person that you feel for them. Sure, you’re not helping much, but you’re there.

Yep, you can get on your friend’s nerves, they on yours…hell, you can even get on your own damned nerves. Take my word for it, I’ve gone a couple of days not speaking to myself for my behavior. I’ve had to break up with myself. But the thing is, you still love your friend no matter what. There is very little that someone you love can do to make you STOP caring about them, stop LOVING them. You may need to take a time out every now and again to get your bearings. It’s natural. We’re all growing. Hopefully, we’re evolving into beings who are more understanding, sympathetic, empathetic and tolerant.

Growth is good. Try it on. It’s always changing to suit you.