Pfunksfoolosophy

Yeah, yeah…I know what you’re saying. “Pfunk! How could you?” Well, it’s like this: I got sucked in because of that crazy Lacey character. She was like the Devil, man. Crazy with a capital ‘K’ and a backwards ‘z’, right? Wow. I couldn’t stop watching her and praying for her comeuppance. What was up with Bret diggin’ her in the first place? Hmmm, could it be that she was easy like a Sunday morning? Could be. Far be it for me to pass judgment on an easy gal. That would be the pot calling the kettle black, but still. This guy’s seen more vaginas than a country doctor and for me, that spells full body protection just to shake hands. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The thing is, I was bored the first time I watched it and had no reading material.

It was a diversion. Not a pleasant one, mind you but a diversion none the less. Those girls were nuts and I loved it. See, they represented all that is challenging about the world. They had an overweening need to be on television. We created that. All of us. Most folks want that fame–even if it’s only for Warhol’s famous fifteen minutes. Do you ever wonder why that is? Maybe it’s because they want to feel ’special’ because they feel ordinary. Nothing is wrong with ordinary. Oftentimes, ordinary people do extraordinary things. We overcome adversity every day. We raise children, we love our families, we contribute to humanity.

These things all have value. Perhaps not a monetary value and certainly nothing that will

make the

tabloids chase after you. You know, I think about my own quest for success in the

entertainment

industry and I wonder if I’ll be able to handle the scrutiny if I’m fortunate enough to be able to support my family doing something that I love. Will I be able to withstand lurid tabloid stories about my checkered past? Hell, the way things are going, I’ll probably be the one to supply them with stories. My response will be ‘More than likely’. Did you really…? “More than likely” See, I’m not ashamed of anything that I’ve done or said. That isn’t to say that I don’t wish that I could have done some things differently, but heck…that’s life.

So getting back to these ’rock of love’ chicks…man, that was scary. Heather, the stripper

really looked so much better when she wasn’t all tarted up for him. Once she glopped on her two pounds of

spackle she looked like a drag queen. That can’t be groovy. It wasn’t. THEN she didn’t even pay attention when the brother was going to crash from having low blood sugar. Clearly, she wasn’t in love with him, but what he represented. Jet set lifestyle, privilege, money, partying…but what about when your man is sick? Damn, girl…admit that your attraction to money and get over it.

Ah, but Jes was my girl. She won. That rocks. The fact that I got involved in the show does

NOT rock.

EH, such is life.

I’ll be back to normal soon. No more reality television for me.

I’ve gotta pick up a book, man.

Gonna re-read Truman Capote. Breakfast at Tiffany’s never lets you down.

Talk to you soon.

Not the peppiest I’ve been, but I’m upright, which is a vast improvement.

For some reason, my body is rebelling against me. I’ve finally got health insurance and now I’m falling apart? This is not cool, guys. I’m actually watching SNL.

You know that it’s rough if I’m too lazy to find my remote control to change the channel. Oddly, Lebron James was quite delightful. What is he 12? Jiminy Christmas, he’s a tall one.

But, that show is on the way to being very much like my love life…sorta amusing but going on far too long to really be interesting.

Color me tepid.

Be cool, kids.

This is a photograph of someone who had been missing since last week. They found her.

It was too late.

This saddens me more than anything and you know, yesterday was a rough day for me emotionally.

I complained, I crabbed, I found fault with others and this young beautiful woman’s family now has to proceed with a going home ceremony after searching for her tirelessly since 19 September. Not once did I stop to send positive thoughts to her family or to the countless people who are less fortunate than me. Not once. I’m too caught up in the human mess of my own humanness.

http://www.topix.net/afam/2007/09/nailah-franklin-black-and-missing-but-not-forgotten

That’s the link to a story about her. It’s not her whole story. She was a friend, a sister, a daughter and someone I just learned about today. She deserves our prayers and our love.
Her family needs our support. This story wasn’t in heavy rotation on the news. You don’t even recognize the name, do ya?
Neither did I until it was too late.
Remember that this isn’t a dress rehearsal, folks. Be mindful of others. We ARE responsible for one another, whether you like it or not. Whether you wish to be or not…Get off of your butts and show some interest in something other than your own concerns.
It could have been YOUR wife or sister or daughter, aunt, lover, wife….wouldn’t you want someone to give a shit?
This is a wake up call. We are all important players in this game.
Live with purpose. Live like you mean it.

I have a lot of friends all over the world and there is one thing that they have in common…well, most of them and it’s that they LOVE text messaging.
I’ve received text messages from friends who are in meetings, going in to the movies, the theater, or have seen something funny and just have to share it.
This is the way folks are communicating. It’s modern day note passing when you think about it.
Remember when you were in high school and wanted to share something with your best bud?
You would write it down on loose leaf paper, fold it in some kind of origami, which in retrospect wasn’t the smartest thing to do, given the time and effort, and then toss it at them while the teacher had his/her back turned. This took far too long for me. I want immediate gratification.
Believe me, I would have been in a lot more trouble if I had Mobile Chat back then.
Seems like I got into enough trouble…but it was worth it. You know, I didn’t even mind when the teacher would scoop up one of my notes and read it. Most of the time it was pretty funny stuff.
I had a way with words back then and it usually wasn’t nasty or about anyone in the class.
USUALLY. Once, my Behavioral Science teacher got an eyeful. I received detention. I was class president. I didn’t stay.
If I had been a text messaging whiz, I would have gotten off scot free. Then again, I probably would have gotten caught because I can’t hold in my laughter. I wasn’t the class clown, but I was the class comedian.
Hmmm. Times have changed, haven’t they?

This doesn’t mean it’s all over, but it’s a start.

One of the Jena Six is out on bail.  Keep watching.

Keep praying. Keep fighting for justice.

My friends Dele and Amber are participating in the AIDSCycle event coming up this year.

They’re going to ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles on bicycles to raise money for AIDS research.

It’s a good idea. I’ve ridden long rides for charity, but that one will be a doozy.

Please click on the page I made for them.

Okay, so it’s just a link to Dele’s page, but I would appreciate you all taking the time to investigate.

Having lost friends and family to the disease…it’s something to consider.

So, be a mensch and give it a whirl.

Sure will be glad that you did.

And now, back to the hilarity.

This clip just does it for me. Can’t be helped. I would totally rock a maxi-vest pantsuit.
My godmother was groovy and outspoken like Muade. Her name was Frances.
Come on, guys…you KNOW I could rock some cool swingin’ seventies gear like that.
The process ain’t so groovy, but I could get a nice wig. Possibly an Eva Gabor number…all frosted-like.

Ever since I first saw “The Sound of Music” I’ve wanted to go to Austria. Well, I wanted to be Julie Andrews, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to plan a trip to someplace like St. Anton, Austria. You know, the idea of the snow crunching under my feet on some moonlit winter evening with the clean mountain air filling my lungs is ultra appealing. Having my own little ski instructor plying me with mulled wine wouldn’t kill me, either.
I like to cross country ski and it would be sweet to snowboard or snowshoe and come back to a lovely rented chalet, wouldn’t it? You know, you’re on board with me. Little wine sack action while you make your way along the trails. Chatting up the snowbunnies (there are male snowbunnies, right?) would be awesome.

I have a friend who grew up in Switzerland, so luxury skiing holidays to him meant coming to the States to Aspen. What a maroon, right? I’m thinking about some cool places like perhaps in Courcheval or Meribel, France. I speak the lingo. It would be great to take my family to luxury ski chalets in Courchevel .Of course it would just be Pooper and me in the snow, but I am sure my mother would enjoy the luxury of a quality chalet. Great food and wine, skiing, snowboarding and taking in the sights all appeal to me…I just have to make my first million before too long.

Even though I joke about wanting a taser for some of the people walking around the big onion, I can’t say that I would actually want to use one…well, not to excess.
While cruising around some news outlets, I came across the story of a woman in Warren, OH who while in police custody and most certainly drunk and disorderly was ‘tased’ at least seven times.
Isn’t it bad enough we give cops sidearms? That’s scary enough, but the addition of a taser, a potentially lethal weapon makes it terrifying. Seven times? Are you kidding me?
As a former EMT and bouncer, I’ve had to deal with my share of drunk and uncooperative folks. I’ve even wanted to take my maglite and crack a couple of them upside the head in order to treat them, but I’ve had the presence of mind to take a deep breath and handle the situation.
There are ways to subdue people safely. Yep, there really are and you don’t have to be Jackie Chan to do it.
Tasers are useful to administer a nano second of shock as a wake up call. “Do I have your attention?” It’s aversion therapy, really.
Right? It’s not a toy. It’s not to be used indiscriminately, is it? Are the law doggies this ignorant? Aren’t they trained on this stuff? I’m sure they don’t hand rookies service revolvers and say, “Hey, you’ll figure it out. Good luck!”. So, why did this officer go overboard? Had he worked himself up into a lather because he couldn’t restrain a drunk woman?
Was he just overwhelmed? Or was he simply a man with a taser just itching to use it?
Hmmm. He’s on administrative leave until further investigation. Chances are, they’ll find no wrong doing. We see it all the time.
I’m not anti-law enforcement. I have relatives who are sheriffs and work for the gubmint. I AM anti-abuse of position or power. I think that the woman should be able to use the taser on him.
Seven times. Two times whilst he is handcuffed. Metal is a great conductor, ain’t it?
Seems fair to me.

ONE THING?! Guys, as a writer I find that reality shows on network television are the ruination of any writer’s career. Sure, they’ve got writers, but I really am not compelled to watch yet another season of ‘Survivor’. I get the concept and I couldn’t care less.

The ratings increase and one hour dramas, sitcoms really suffer as a result. We’re getting crappier and crappier shows. I grew up watching Bob Newhart (the one with Suzanne Pleshette, G-d bless her), Carol Burnett, WKRP, The Rockford Files and of course, Trapper John, MD (with the lovely and talented hottie trifecta of Pernell Roberts, Brian Stokes Mitchell AND Gregory Harrison)…now don’t get me wrong, there are a few shows that hold my interest…try as I might to get away from it, ER still keeps me coming back.

You think it’s starting the death rattle and they manage to spice it up. Law & Order SVU is still crankin’ out good stories with stellar acting (yes, I loves me some Chris Meloni-the guy is a total package acting wise) but I weep for the sitcom.
What happened to funny and smart? For me, Friends was the beginning of the end. Inexplicably, that show was hot right up until the end. I never got it. I didn’t get the ‘funny’. I suppose a lot of people didn’t get Seinfeld, but that was my show. Maybe because I could relate to the talk of ‘lowtalkers’, double dipping’, ‘this, that and the other’ and the concept of friends having their own language. My best friend and I have our own and it’s just as delightful as anything Larry David could have come up with. Very often I wondered if he hadn’t been eavesdropping on my phone conversations.

“The Vault” is universally known in my circle of friends. So, why are we seeing such crap on television? Why are we becoming emotionally involved with Bret Michaels, Flavor Flav and why in the name of all that is good are we giving ‘New York’, arguably one of the least appealing people to strut in front of a camera, a second chance?
Are we at long last so bored with our lives that instead of picking up a book, we tune in to watch her apply petroleum jelly to her weave and eat enormous amounts of junk food, all the while professing to be a princess?

Mind you, there are a some shows out there with some value. The Biggest Loser is helpful to those of us who want to shed some poundage and like seeing others suffer in the process.

No, I’m kidding. The Biggest Loser is a show that sucks you in because these folks have to look at it as their last chance at good health. I do enjoy watching it because I can feel for them. Food is a tough give up. When it’s been your constant companion and your unconditional friend, you’ve got to ask yourself some tough questions. I am inspired to work out along with them and limit my fat intake. Up to a point. Ice cream and I have a very, very special relationship.  We both know how good it is to be together, but we both know that we’re no good for one another. Eh. If lovin’ Ben and Jerry is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

There are other reality shows, I’m sure. My feeling is, if we can benefit somehow by watching…it’s all good. But in the interest of your intellectual and spiritual growth, there are times when you’ve got to reconnect with humanity.
Folks, turn off your televisions and get out in the world. Pick up a book. Start a book club. Write your own. Go see some live music and support local bands.

Do anything but discuss “The Pick up Artist”. Oh, I watched it. Yep, I sure did. That guy ‘Mystery’ is anything BUT a mystery. Dude’s just a skinny boring guy who wears eyeliner and black nail polish. He’s got great hair, though. I’ll give him that. The poor saps who went for his crap are in trouble. Still, I watched that crap. There was nothing else on. I never once thought: “Hey, maybe I don’t HAVE to watch t.v. right now”…I just watched. Like a sap.

Let’s take part in our own reality, shall we? Isn’t life tricky enough without having to watch people who will most likely receive a nice payday make asses of themselves?
It will only make you upset. You don’t want to become the reality show sniper, do ya?
Okay, so promise me you’ll take a break for a little while and read the paper. Get involved with a charity organization…take care of yourself…learn a foreign language. Hey, learn Sign Language. It’s easy and it’s fun. THEN when you see a couple of deaf people signing away on the street or in a restaurant you can eavesdrop. I do it all the time and while I feel guilt, it’s good to know that women rag at their men in all languages.

Take care. Time to boogie.