Pfunksfoolosophy

Last weekend, my best friend of nearly 37 years, Kim, came for a much needed visit. She’s married and has one child. Both her husband and  her son have ADHD. I’ve seen her son unmedicated and it takes a great deal to find the patience to handle him. He’s a great kid. He’s funny, which can be his downfall and he’s smart. The thing is…when you need him to get ready for school and he’s not medicated, you want to slap him. He’s also diabetic, so he can’t skip a meal. Yep. Kim NEEDED the vacation. I needed to see her as well.

Another win/win situation.

I would love to regale you with our adventures, but I want to check in with her first.

I may have to coerce her and also get the lowdown from her perspective.

So, keep your eye on this column, dear readers. You’re gonna get an eyefull of some crazy happenings including just why she and I are lifelong friends. She’s a bit of a devil, that kid.

This may take a couple of days to process.

In any event, if you have dear friends with whom you’ve lost touch…give ‘em a jingle. Drop ‘em a line. I’m nearly always in contact with Kim. We’re sorta co-dependent but in a healthy way. HEALTHY, I say!

Heh. That were funny. We were phrasemakers all weekend, with Kim being the champion for this one: “The fart from the ass who must not be named”. Ruminate on that one for a bit, kids.

Oh, there was ass-gas and it wasn’t pretty. I think I just overshared. Yep, I sure did.

Can’t take it back now. Chuckle it up out there, gang.

Love ya!
Hey, and pick up my cookbook!
I’ve not mentioned it enough, have I?

THE PRETZEL COOKBOOK: A NEW TWIST ON EVERYONE’S FAVORITE SNACK

Is that good enough for ya?
Amazon has it…so does Borders and Barnes and Noble.

GET it,  already!
If you request it, I’ll even autograph it for ya.

How do ya like THEM apples?
Ah, youth. I wish I still had it.

Be careful out there.

Broadway Comedy Club for all the dates:

27 April 10 pm

10 May 10 pm

17 May 7pm

The time and VIP line info is for the 17th only, but the rest is solid… 

Broadway Comedy Club 318 W. 53rd Street (Between 8th and 9th Ave)
NY, NY 10019
SHOW TIME 7:00 p.m.
Doors Open at 6:15 p.m.
Cover: $15. Only $12 if advance reservation is made on VIP line:
212-252-4255

 Hope you can make it.

The first two are guest spots so I don’t know the exact line up. Be there or be square, kids.

Hope you are all doing okay.

Life is a funny thing. Gonna have to catch you up on my pal’s visit here. It was superfantastic and I miss her already.

We’re coming up on our 37th anniversary—friendship-wise in August.

It would be great if she could come out for that.

Here’s hoping she’ll let me post some pics from her visit. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t.

I can’t blame her for not wanting her mug posted on the internet for potential stalkers.

Still, I want to share our adventures in the big onion.

Talk to you soon!

Be groovy…

Yep, I did some ‘work’ as an extra on Law and Order SVU a couple of weeks ago. What the heck, right? It’s acutally fun being an extra if you don’t take life too seriously and expect to be an instant star, which unfortunately most of the newbies expect…poor saps. What is very cool is that you get to watch the process. I enjoy watching the set ups and I dig watching the actors interact with one another. Some of them–Mariska Hargitay in particular, seem to be down to earth folks with a good work ethic. Some of them–Robin Williams to be specific as he was the special guest star, seem to need someone to open their bottled water for them–that’s just plain loco. NEVER have anyone open a drink for you. She coulda slipped him a roofie.

No es bueno. He also was trying waaay too hard to crack everyone up. I felt sorry for him. It was just a couple of days after the divorce announcement, so I know he must have felt additional pressure to appear to be chipper. Instead, he was annoying.
I really don’t  dig that ‘ghetto Black woman’ voice he does. It really makes me want to pimp slap him. G-d bless him, though. He’s kinda cute. Like a furbee. He’s also got pretty good skin.

Here’s the thing: Chris Meloni is quite handsome. I mean, HANDSOME. He’s not nearly as hair impaired as I thought he would be (although that could be a piece, I dunno) and he’s in excellent shape. I couldn’t stop looking at his bum. And I’m not a bum watcher.

Weird. Some guys have that presence about them. He’s one of them.
Richard Belzer somehow has my heart, though. He’s got the best, most genuine smile I’ve ever seen on a man who otherwise seems to be the boy who never had a date. Ever. There is a very sweet gentle vibe that makes him attractive–sorta. Anyway, it was fun to be on the set.

We were participating in a ‘pillow fight for peace’. I have no idea what that even means, since if you use the words ‘fight for peace’, you’re sorta bein’ moronic…but that’s just me.

I am all for cheesecake eating for peace or manwatching for peace. This requires very little effort on my part. But I digress.

There were  pillows everywhere…feathers flying…laughter…and me…sneezing like a bastard. I had taken some Benadryl prior to the shoot, but I didn’t  take enough. I’m also asthmatic. Not a good look. I’m sure that Meloni was NOT charmed. I’m also sure that  he was paying me no mind at all. No matter. He’s married.

I offered Robin Williams a lozenge. He declined. I offered my giant Lifesavers. Nothin’. I offered some kugel. He gave me the cutest look. “KUGEL? You don’t  hear that very often”
Har har…please riff on that one, Robin you comedic genius.

I shrugged and made some kinda  funny mouth noises and he and I shared a moment.

I love it when celebrities act like they are the only ones to have facile minds. Makes ya wanna slap them. Or help them open up their water bottles.

Jeepers creepers. I’m praying  he makes it home okay, though. This is his second divorce. I am praying  he doesn’t start up the drinking and drugging again. He’s  an okay guy. He’s insecure. It’s not cool to be sad deep down where it counts.

In other news, you can watch that very special SVU on the 29th of this month. I think.

If you see a tall Black woman wearing bohemian clothing, chances are it’s me. Hope you tune in. The show rocks hard, man. Even if I’m on the cutting room floor, the show is groovy and you should watch.

Take ‘er easy and to all of my Jewish friends out there–Happy Passover…it’s a- comin’.

Hey gang! I’ve really been slacking off and there are no good reasons. Sure, I’m a busy gal. Sure, I’m making my way with this book thing. Bottom line is, I’ve not been in a really communicative mood. Haven’t felt much like writing and what with the anniversary of Dr. King’s assasination, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching.

It’s been forty years–FORTY years and I remember it like it was yesterday. I was four years of age and I remember seeing my mom crying. She was sitting at the television and sobbing. I knew something historically significant had happened. She wasn’t watching soap opera or a sad movie. At four, I KNEW that my life was going to change immeasurably.

I know what you’re thinking: how could a four year old know how important that event was? Well, in my family, we don’t treat our kids like morons. In my family, we discussed everything–including civil rights and the war in Vietnam. I knew what was going on. Maybe I didn’t understand why blacks weren’t given a fair shake–I grew up in a place where racism may have been alive and kicking, it wasn’t overt. We had a comfortable life…but my mom and dad grew up in Kansas and Mississippi- mom was in school in Kansas during the whole Brown vs. The Board of Education thing. Dad of course, was in MS for the better part of his formative years; no need to tell you that he understood only too well, the Jim Crow laws and lynchings. He’d seen his share of heartache. I think that’s why he enlisted in the Army. See the world and get a better understanding…anyhow, I’ve been thinking that I’m not doing nearly enough to make an impact on the world. What am I doing to keep the ‘dream’ alive? Am I being the best person I can be? Am I trying to help everyone I can with a cheerful heart?

Nope. Not by a long length. I’ve been too busy with my own headnoise. I’ve not been reaching out to my dearest people. I’ve been in my hole. Well, I’m getting out of it.

Lainie: I’m gonna ring ya as soon as I get a phone that won’t drop my calls every five seconds.

Gogammie: You have a call in your future as well.

Okay.

So, tomorrow is the anniversary of my sister’s death. That’s been on my mind as well.

Twenty-two years. It’s still fresh in my mind and it’s just as hard as it ever was. I miss her every day. I can hear her voice sometimes and it’s unnerving. There are days when I swear I see her walking ahead of me in this city and I rush to say something to her. When I reach my destination, I see that it’s a woman who resembles my sister only in that she’s of a similar build. Tears sting my eyes and I wander off, confused and sad. It’s never easy, kids.

You get sort of used to it, but you’re never over it. So, what do you do? You put one foot in front of the other and you breathe. You embrace the memories and share them with folks who knew her. You listen to music that reminds you of her, of her laughing at your stupid dances, of misheard lyrics…you just keep on truckin’  because you know you’re not the Lone Ranger–other folks have experienced great losses too. Get over  yourself and make your life happen the way you want it to happen. Believe in the miracles you can create.

You marvel at your resilience.

Okay, so if you’re me—you probably eat a ton of ice cream and stay in bed all day.

It’s a coping mechanism.

Get over it.

Okay, kids…that was kinda deep and rambling. My apologies.

I love ya and I’m here.

Talk it up. Keep laughing, keep loving and for goodness’ sake, keep on keepin’ on.

Be well!