Pfunksfoolosophy

On my way home from work I was noticing the footwear of the other subway patrons.
Some folks, like me, enjoy the sneaker. There are a lot of different types out there and I am leaning towards those nifty lookin’ Pumas. The old school ones that Eddie Murphy used to wear are my faves.
The thing that strikes me…right between the eyes, is the fact that there are a LOT of folks who are in no way ashamed of their feet.
I don’t like to look at feet. Babies have cute feet, but that’s about it. Adult feet are the worst.
They’re like creatures from an alien planet, I tell you.
Men have some really bad looking feet and they display them brazenly in the summer months.
I hate that. One guy had what I like to call ‘tree climbers’. Ever see those shows on National Geographic about some nomadic tribe of people in the Amazon who have to climb trees in order to forage for their food?
Yeah, they’ve got the splayed toes, longish toenails and…*shudder* callouses.
Dude could have sanded down the deck of the Love Boat for cryin’ out loud yet I stared at his pedal extremities for 3 stops. I think my mouth was open.
He wasn’t the absolute worst, though. This woman got on wearing gold toned wedgie flip flops.
She had the yikes foot trifecta goin’ and she had an attitude to make matters worse.
She was flippin’ her hair and fixing her make up and all the while I was wondering if the corn on her pinky toe was another toe that just gave up or a corn.
Nail polish color? A beautifully chipped and weathered burnished copper. I never knew you could get hang skins on your toes. She had cuticle issues. On. Her. TOES.
I’m one to talk. I could use a pedicure, but it’s not to the point where I’m considering making some extra money by using me feet to scrape barnacles off of the boats down in the Hudson.
AND I keeps mah feets covered.
In truth, my feet are okay. Soft as a baby’s bottom for the most part. I’ve never had Summer Feet.
I would cry if that were to happen.
You know, they make a pumice sponge. It’s great. I think I’m going to start carrying extras in my backpack when I ride the train.
Seriously, though…that woman’s pinky toes will haunt me.
There will be NO Taquitos for me tonight.
OR ever, if I can’t exorcise that image from my memory soon.
Hmm… could be a dietary aid.
Wow, are you tellin’ me it’s a win/win AGAIN?
I’m on a roll, kids. Don’t stop me.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 11th, 2007 at 1:49 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.