Pfunksfoolosophy

Well, kids…I’ve been processing the historical significance and I’ve listened to political pundits discussing the same.

NO ONE mentioned that a vote for Obama was indeed a vote for Pfunk. Michelle and I share a birthday…need I say more?
What a birthday gift I’ll have this year…he will be sworn in 3 days after my birthday.

Overjoyed.

And all I gave him was my vote.

More later…I will elaborate on the election night hijinx. Suffice it to say Pooper is one happy camper. He watched up until the announcement. He’s three, I’m amazed he stayed up that late.

 A blessing on our heads, mazel tov.

Borrowing from Jimmy Buffet seems apropos right now…after all he’s the man who gave us “The Great Filling Station Holdup”, one of the funniest songs in history and I admire that.

Well, first things first. I have a very good friend who organized her own festival and she’s been facing some challenges so I gave her the gift of being the glass. I might not have shared this with you, but it goes like this:
Some folks see the glass as half empty–the pessimists. Others see it as half full—optimists. Well, the foolosopher sees the glass. That glass is a useful vessel and you can fill it with whatever you wish. If you’re focused on being the glass, you’re gonna focus on being useful and seeing what is beneficial to you and others, ultimately because you’re not going to be a nervous wreck agonizing over things you can’t change.

I’ve been the glass for a while now. It was really difficult at first, I have to tell ya, but seriously…once you accept the glass and you can BE the glass, man…life is groovy. I may not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, but I’m happy. As you, my faithful readers know, my goal is to be the happiest person on the planet. Goal achieved thus far.

The next thing  is that I feel like I’m back to the funny again. It’s exciting. I feel my creativity flowing like Ripple in a back alleyway. Performing at the Vagina Festival was a blast. I got to improv in a relaxed atmosphere. The laughter energized me. I’m back, kids.

So, look to this column for my club dates. No more pissin’ and moanin’ about not  moving forward, okay? This time let’s all commit to being the glass.

If you can’t change your circumstances, change your attitude.

Some way to think, huh?

In closing, know that I’m always praying for the best for all of you and you’ve got to vote if you’re  a U.S. citizen. You MUST. Hey, I don’t care who you vote for, just vote. It’s a right that people died for and you can’t let it go to waste.

Keep on truckin’, my rock and roll doggies!

One of my favorite human beings passed away. He wasn’t just an actor to me. He was deeply woven into the tapestry of my consciousness through his philanthropy, kindness, humor, intellect and quite obviously, his talent.

Paul Newman was one of the few “movie stars” who weathered every storm with grace and integrity. There are not many left, I tell ya. He was part of the Civil Rights Movement, he established The Hole in the Wall Camp for ill children…the man rocked like no other. He had the good sense to marry Joanne Woodward. 

A friend of mine had the chance to meet him–by chance. My pal was getting beer at a local store (I’ll not say where) and in walked Paul Newman, also picking up some beer. They’d purchased the same kind and my friend made a comment like, “You’ve got good taste, Mr. Newman.”
Paul replied, “I can remember the label. I’m old and habits die hard, kid.”
My friend countered with, “I was talking about your wife. I’ve had a crush on her since I was a kid.”
Newman laughed and clapped him on the back. “I’ll be sure NOT to tell her. Can’t let  her  get a swelled head.” They both chuckled and my pal walked out with him into the sun.

They shared some conversation and they went their separate ways. Instead of blurting out the whereabouts of a screen legend, my pal told few people. There were “Newman sightings” but they didn’t come from him. He wanted to keep that memory for himself.

Later, when he told me about it he said that he couldn’t  help but feel he’d had a brush with American royalty. He’d wanted to hang out with Paul Newman all day, talking about cars, food, beer…whatever, but he knew that as gracious as Mr. Newman was, it would have spoiled everything. He’d gotten to experience that brief exchange and it was enough.

I have to admit, I was a bit jealous. Paul Newman was my guy, ya know? The Sting, Butch Cassidy, Paris Blues, The Verdict…the man could do it all. Who can forget Slapshot? The finest movie ever made about hockey and who made it come to life? Paul Newman.

When he retired from filmmaking I was saddened, but I know that he felt he only had a couple of movies left in him. He didn’t want someone telling him that he’d overstayed his welcome. For me, he was always welcome. He could have just sat in a chair in any film and I would have been happy as a clam, but I’m glad he left films on his terms.

It’s a new kind of movie star these days. He’s not and he would never be a part of that. He had class and grace that I’m sad to say we’ll not see again.

I hope he is resting easy. I hope Joanne Woodward will be able to move forward, alone but not lonely. I hope we never forget what a great man he was and how his example is our template for doing good works because we can and must, not because we’re looking for some notoriety…no car giveaways for Newman, right? Lifelong philanthropy…that’s the ticket.

Man, I’m gonna miss you Mr. Newman. Rest easy.

My heart and prayers go out to his family. May you find peace and comfort.

We’ll get back to our regularly scheduled ranting tomorrow.

After watching the DNC, I can safely say that I am voting for Obama and Biden. I was rather concerned about Joe Biden being a little soft in the public speaking department and Obama’s lack of lengthy experience, but I’ve gotta tell ya that I was pleased with the proceedings. It livened up considerably and Hillary made a lovely, impassioned speech. Rather liked Joe Biden’s mom…and good lord, the energy.

History was made, but more importantly, I think Obama’s campaign has encouraged young folks to get involved on a greater level than in previous elections. They’re much more informed and that youthful exuberance is a much needed fuel injection for the Dems. So why have I just about had it?
Well, McCain chooses a woman as his running mate as if by her having a vagina she will galvanize the females in this country. Sorry, but if I had planned on voting for Clinton just because she and I shared the same genitalia I would be a world class moron. Let’s hope that the many women voting will feel the same way. I can’t get over it. Why didn’t he find a black or latin woman who shared his crazy views? Probably because there aren’t any. I’m over it already. This will more than likely be my last entry that will have anything to do with politics.

Most of the time I don’t like to discuss poliitcs with folks. We’re all entitled to our opinions and can become passionate about converting people. I’m not one to try to convert or educate anyone. Information is readily available, so do your homework. I’m just venting here.

Read some Chomsky, look up archived articles in reputable newspapers…make your own decisions. I’m not lookin’ for ya to agree with me, but to have a laugh at life. Pfunk’s foolosophy doesn’t include becoming a zealot.

My foolosophy is about everyone getting along and when we don’t resolving it with some good old fashioned common sense.

Be good to one another. Be good to yourselves. Keep on truckin’ and keep your eyes and hearts open; you never know what may be in store for ya. Here’s hoping it’s all good.
Have a great long weekend if you’re in the U.S. and to my visitors overseas…have fun wherever you are and whatever you do!

Hey gang,

It’s been a sorta whirlwind of craziness for me, but it’s been grooviness for the most part. I got to spend some time with Pooper and my kids, my best friend and her family and I’ve been able to do much more than I’ve done in the past. Not so much of a hermit lately, which has been strange, but cool. The best part is I perfected my jerk chicken recipe.

I’d like to share it with you, but I’m reluctant. You see, if you become a jerk chicken maven, will you still come back here? I think not. I think you’ll go right out and start a business and leave me here cryin’ like…oh, that was too dramatic even for me.

Okay, here’s what’s shakin’ in Pfunk town: Still working, which is amazing. Still trying to understand why we have to hear about Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. At least Lindsay has some talent. Poor kid…I really do hope she makes it home okay. I caught some of that ‘Living Lohan’ on VH-1. I’m still not sure about that family. I do love the fact that Ali makes those faces and isn’t aware of it. She’s acting her age. Mind you, I am not too charmed with the makeup at her age, but I’m not her mother. Speaking of her mom, she and I are the same age, give or take a year. She’s in great shape, but still the mugshot…she looks older than me. Do I delight in telling you that? Yep. The one thing I’ve got going for me other than my emormous immaturity, is the fact that I look a good ten years younger.

Now, having said that I can only attribute it to never having married or birthing children and of course, genetics. Can’t take credit for any of it. Let’s see…what else? Oh, I watched that Denise Richards show. Whoo, mama…she curses like a sailor on liberty, that one. Potty mouth. Sorta like her for that. Her dad is sweet, though and I believe I watched it for him. I hope HE makes it home okay. It’s tough to lose a spouse. Poor guy.

What else? I’ve been reading a lot more than normal. My friend Old Bean sent me two books that were both captivating. The first was about the Bin Laden family by Steve Coll. Pick it up. It’s well researched and not a dry read. Coll is an extraordinary writer and I enjoyed the book–and it was a big ‘un. The other book was the only Hunter S. Thompson book I’d not read, “Hell’s Angels”–delightful. Thompson’s best writing, if you ask me, which you didn’t.

Not too pleased about all the hubbub between McCain and Obama. I’ve had it. ALSO, very, very unnerved that John Edwards stepped out on his wife. Not because it’s a crappy thing to do to a person, which it is, no doubt, but because he seemed like a straight shooter for so long–mind you, do I ever believe politicians? Nope. Maybe I was taken in by that ‘Aw shucks, I’m a man of the people’ act. It was the smile. I’m a sucker.

Still dig him and his wife, though. It isn’t for me to judge. Man, I know I could never run for public office. “Did you once flash a cabdriver in NYC?” “Yes.” It only goes downhill from there, friends.

Lemme see…if you get the chance, pick up a book called “Zoli” by Colum McCann. You’ll be glad you did.

Oh! I wanted to use my time to say goodbye to Bernie Mac and to Nuala O’Faolain who both passed away. Bernie passed most recently and I’d only just discovered that Nuala had left this mortal coil, but she died in May. We’re losin’ some great ones and Madonna is still kickin’. That was a poor joke. I wouldn’t wish death on anyone. Just to stop recording music.

In still other news, I want to give a shout out to Christina Applegate who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her mom had it twice, so she knows the drill. She’s gonna be just fine. Applesauce, if you’re reading this: Keep on truckin’, kid. Just get a new playlist next time I see ya.

In recent news, had an outing with a very dear friend and our exchange of energy was much needed and so welcome…like a great cup of coffee on a brisk autumn day. Really enjoyed it. Although I must tell you, do not ever go to LONDEL’S in Harlem. Yeeps.

Okay, kids…nothin’ but love for ya. Keep on keepin’ on and keep on trying to be loving and caring…it’s gonna be a-okay.

Hey gang!
Yeah, yeah…I’ve not been good about keeping in contact with ya. I’ve been doing some writing and some soul searching…always trying to keep on moving forward and growth can be hard sometimes.

When is it time to call it quits with relationships? How much are you willing to go through before you cry ‘Uncle’? Well, lately I’ve had to ask myself a lot of questions like that and I really don’t have a lot of answers. You see, I would like to believe that people are basically good hearted, fine, honest, upfront, upright beings. Guess what? They are not.

So, while I would like to tell ya that all is groovy–ah, heck, all IS groovy. It’s  my pal David’s birthday on the morrow and he’s been a true blue pal ever since I met him at a movie theater revival screening of “All About Eve”. He’s  the Vera to my Mame and I adore him.

The best thing is that he got to meet my best friend. (I’ve still not shared our weekend together, have I?) They fell in love with one another immediately. This brings me enormous pleasure, I’ve gotta tell ya. David is an extraordinary person and when he met Kim the sparks flew, the lovelight started shining and it was lovely.

David will celebrate his birthday tomorrow and I wanted to share the love. He and I sing at the top of our lungs while walking down New York streets. We share laughter, we bitch about tourists walking willy nilly along ‘our’ sidewalks, we create characters and remain in character for the better part of the day, we write together…we drink, we cry, we consume food that’s bad for us, but above all else, we share our lives in a meaningful way.

We don’t give one another lip service. We’re honest with one another. That is important in friendship. It’s vital. I appreciate this more than you’ll know, given recent events in my life. True long lasting friends are hard to find; we need to cultivate them like heirloom roses. Nourish the soil from which the friendship blossoms, ya dig?

 So, I want to honor my friends, my loved ones on this blog when I can. Let others know that they’re special to me. David deserves some recognition for being a superlative dude.

He’s young enough to be my kid for cryin’ out loud. (that is if I was a slutty high schooler) David had to raise himself, he had to figure out that it was perfectly okay to be gay. No one gave him anything. He’s a hardworking young man with a great mind and an open heart.
David…Vera…your heart is from Tiffany’s and I am honored to have you in my posse.

Happy birthday, youngster!  I love you!

Well, first let me apologize for neglecting you. It wasn’t my intent to completely forget about you. I feel just like Loretta Lynn in “Coalminer’s Daughter” when she has her breakdown.  “Patsy’s always sayin’ ‘little girl, ya got to run your own life’….well, mah life’s been a-runnin’ me” Yep. I’ve let my life run away with me and I’ve not been an active participant and I’ve allowed my work drama get under my skin. Kids, it’s a friggin’ job; it’s not my life. Whoa, Nellie, right?
So, it’s back, back in the NY groove. Spoke with some friends, got it together and feel that my big ‘ole size elevens are rooted again in the soil of my life’s rhythm. Going to get back to writing because that’s important to me. I’ve got a ton of stories to tell and they’re worth telling.
Back to cooking again, which is a blast and the big news…drumroll please…

THE PRETZEL COOKBOOK IS ON AMAZON! So you can pre-order it and have a blast.

The title is: The Pretzel Cookbook: A New Twist on Everyone’s Favorite Snack.

Take a look; you’ll be glad that you did. OR, you’ll completely forget about it and it will go directly into the remainder bin.
Wow, way to have a positive outlook. Frankly, I think it’s a great book for what it is…pretzels. Pretzels are a favorite for many, many folks.
If you dig soft pretzels this is your book. If you’re too lazy to bother making pretzels, there are recipes using store bought pretzels.

If you are somewhere in the middle, there’s recipes using frozen bread dough.

You can run, but you can’t hide. Get the book. After you receive it, shoot me an email and I might just autograph it for ya.

Could be valuable some day. COULD BE…ya never know.

This week, let’s try to keep a positive outlook. When something or someone gets you down, remember that you’ve got at least one person pulling for you. That person is the Pfunk.

I believe in you. You can accomplish just about anything as long as you let your light shine. Let it shine, people! Rock it when you can, appreciate just where you are right now; you may know it can only get better. Better and better. Life is short, so play like you mean to win.

With that said, I bid you a kick ass week.

 Go get ‘em!

(or take a nice long nap.)

Recipes are coming…I’ve been remiss on that front as well.

Well, gang…I’ve not written in a while because my kids came for a visit. They’re still here.

Pooper is a friggin’ laugh riot and he’s soooo very precious. The kid kills me. When he doesn’t like something, he says, “Me can’t like this, Bubbe”. You know, if you can’t like something, you can’t like it. He also says, “No, thank you” which makes my heart soar. Good manners. We like that. He’s a holy terror when it’s time for a nap, though. Just like his mother was. Gets really active and out of control. You have to say, “Must. Not. Shake. Baby” when he gets like that. My birthday was the 17th and he and his mom arrived that day. I was dog tired, but overjoyed to see them at Port Authority. He came running, smiling and screaming for me. His mom told me later that while they were waiting for me to pick them up he said, “Bubbe’s not coming. Let’s go back to Yaya’s house”. Poor kid.  I was late and he was tired. We went to IHOP for all you can eat pancakes. You know, it’s not that easy to get a value out of that because all I can eat is typically three pancakes. Who are they kidding? Pancakes are belly busters, man. But I love them so…

Okay, fast forward to brunch on Sunday with my pals. They’d never met Pooper so it was a blast to watch their surprise at how wonderful he is. Claude brought him a Curious George balloon, which is floating around my bedroom even now. I want to post photos, but I don’t want some stalker coming out…ahem.

Lemme see…oh, so Pooper’s birthday was on the 22nd and we went to Brooklyn for a fete hosted by my pal David. It was fun and Pooper received a nice present: Harmonica. Pre-boiled for safety. He doesn’t know where it is now. (in my purse for safekeeping. and my sanity) Pooper actually has musical talent, but it’s annoying to hear the same riff over and over. I can take but so much.

Koya got sick so we’re trying to nurse her back to health.

They leave Sunday. I’ll get back to my regularly scheduled blogging at that time.
I’ve missed ya, kids

Gang, it’s about time we made some real changes in our lives, right? I’m not talking about making resolutions, but commitments to one another and most importantly to ourselves. It’s been a whirlwind of anxiety, stress and upheaval, but it’s over. Time to write on a nice clean sheet of paper in our books, okay?

So, before the ball drops in Times Square…I am committed to changing the way I think, the way I move and the way I feel. I am excited to really live in each moment, as I say I do. No more headnoise. No more worry. It’s going to be a struggle as long as I make it so; the time to act is always now and there’s never a time when it isn’t now.

What is holding you back from success? From getting what you want out of life? For me, it’s simple…it’s ME. I’m caught up in everything but what’s important. Mary J. Blige has a song called ‘No more drama’ and it’s got to resonate with some of you out there.

It’s time, folks. None of us is getting any younger and we’re certainly not promised tomorrow, so let’s take action. Let’s participate in our lives fully and with joy.

Choose to be happy in every moment. Even when you’re feeling like something the dog AVOIDED, man…ya gotta find it within yourself to choose to be joyous.

Choose your bliss. Know that right now is what counts.

Right now.

Happy new year! One moment, one day at a time.

Who loves ya? Pfunk, man. Always the Pfunk.

Gotta tell ya… in my family, the tradition is that we watch ‘A Christmas Story’ and while in my day, we watched ‘ A Christmas Carol’ with a very young June Lockhart, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and of course, ‘Miracle on 34th Street’—as well as ‘Yours, Mine and Ours’ with a fetching Lucille Ball and a rather comely and hip Henry Fonda, I am pleased as punch that “A Christmas Story” has become a holiday classic.

Darren McGavin is priceless and the story is told sooo well that even if you didn’t grow up You just never escape it, do you?
That is what makes the movie so very, very splendid.

You can relate to little Ralphie.

Adults attempt to thwart him at every turn, yet he continues.

It’s a groovy lesson, ain’t it?
I never wanted a BB gun, but I sure as heck wanted a Talking Viewmaster.

When I got it, I was the happiest little girl in the world.

Ya know what? I’m still the happiest little girl in the world. Here’s why: The mundane is STILL interesting to me. That’s all.

Nothing more than that.

Hey, I’ve gotta get back to cookin’ for my peeps.

Here’s hoping the new year brings you prosperity and as much love as you can choke down.

Bless us, right? Every doggone one of us.

: )