Pfunksfoolosophy

The wildfires in Southern California have me nearly glued to the internet for updates because I’ve got friends who are firefighters and friends who are residents of Southern Cal. Where are folks going if they’re displaced? There’s the Blanche Dubois deal: relying on the kindness of strangers, but by and large, folks who are just plain outta luck have a possible solution.

They might be able to take advantage of custom corporate housing to meet their needs.
I would imagine that they’ll offer good rates and from what I hear, they’re giving these folks who have been ousted from their homes due to the current situation, preference.
That’s an awesom idea and it does my heart good to know that folks can find a safe haven in times of need. My friends who come to New York often stay in corporate housing that their companies spring for and the amenities are usually better than a regular hotel. It feels more like home when you’re there. You can cook for yourself, have internet access and have the convenience of housekeeping.
So, if you have friends in SoCal who are looking for a place…direct them to custom corporate housing.

It’s a win/win, baby.

What is UP with that woman Kim? She is NOT a cool trainer. I don’t like her. She’s not cool, man. I feel bad for that poor “B”. He’s cute, so maybe I’ve got a little crush on him. He’s  married, so relax, I’m not gonna go all “Fatal Attraction” on him.

The thing is, he really tries hard and he’s  got a rotten trainer. Jillian is my girl, as you know. She used to be fat.  She gets it. She doesn’t make nasty comments when her folks are slacking off. She does the groovy thing: she keeps pushing them and tells them to shut it. She’s also funny to me somehow.

I’ll bet you’re  wondering why I’m so invested in this show. I wonder that as well, since you know how I feel about reality shows. This one is compelling because I am a fat person who doesn’t  have self esteem issues. It breaks my heart to see people feel badly about themselves because they’re overweight. It lifts my spirits to see folks accomplish their goals. THAT is why I can’t  stand that Kim person. She just wants to ‘win’. Bob and Jillian actually want these folks to change their lives.

This week was compelling because they went ‘green’. Being broke, I have no choice but to walk everywhere and not use gym equipment. It was fun to watch, though. I’m on the fence about that Amy chick. She seems like she’s  doggin’ it. AND she complains  a lot. I sometimes want to slap her around. BUT, but…she stepped it up this week and my girl Kae is still in the running. I feel for her, man. She’s  a real pistol.

SO, as a sign of solidarity I do NOT eat ice cream during the viewing process. I wait until the next day…then I take a walk.

Where I can safely walk the streets at night. Thankfully, I live in a pretty good neighborhood near a police precinct not three blocks away. I feel blessed that I have the place I do in the area I live in. I love it here uptown. We’re not so far uptown that we’re an hour away from all of the excitement mid-town or even downtown in the West Village. We’re juuuust right. Like a bowl of porridge. Mmmm…porridge…wait…I’m digressing.
I have friends who are in the market for a new place here in NYC and it’s not easy, let me tell you. The housing market is crazy here. That’s why it’s best to work with folks you can trust.
There are tons of disreputable ‘brokers’ out there and sometimes having a ‘friend’ who ‘knows somebody’ isn’t enough–or helpful.

North Fork real estate properties might just be the place for you
They can hook you up in Manhattan, Long Island and if the Hamptons are your thing you’re all set…I am a Manhattan gal, so my interest in the Hamptons or even Patchogue is quite limited. But, if you’re lookin’ for a place for your stuff and your happy self, check ‘em out. They’ve got 60 offices, so there’s bound to be something for ya.
Imagine finding your perfect brownstone with no muss and no fuss. You tell ‘em what you want, what your price range is and they do all of the footwork for you. That’s got to be a good thing, yeah?

Check ‘em out.

Well, I went out on Halloween and watched about ten minutes of the parade in the Village. It was sorta cool, but I grew bored and meandered down to Johnny’s. It was as cool as ever, since I got my ’spot’ at the corner near the window. I feel safe there. Met some groovy folks, some of whom were in groovy costumes. Mine? I went as an out of work actor. Didn’t need to buy anything, ’cause out of work actors look just like you and me. It was fun. Whilst outside with some friends, Sam Talbot of “Top Chef” fame sauntered by talking on his mobile phone. I suspect he wasn’t even talking to anyone, he just didn’t want to engage anyone in conversation. It was a hectic night. He was cute but I didn’t want to engage in conversation with strangers. Guys, he really is that tall and kinda hot. Fast walker as well. I like that in a New Yorker.
Back to the action: My pal “Claude” went as Jesus. He actually had photocopied a photo of himself to hand out…autographed pics of the Messiah…since he’s Jewish I don’t think he has a date with the hell train, but still. He looked good. I don’t know if Jesus drinks Jameson’s but it was a blast to see people getting photos of him.
I tried to lay low. A woman went as Bettie Page. She looked good.
All in all, the night was great. I drank for free.
Who doesn’t love free?

You folks know how much I adore my grandson, right? I have tons of photos of him on my phone and in my emails, but it would be superfantastic to share him with the world. He’s just that adorable and handsome. Sorry if you think your kid is adorable—you’re misguided. He is the only kid on the planet. I can’t help  myself. Other grandparents can understand this insanity, I’m sure.
Imagine if I could have a photo pillowcase of my little love…oh, the joy…the rapture…Photo Pillows who’da thunk it? Guys, seriously…I want one of my little baby boy. LITTLE? The kid is a giant child. He looks like he’s ready for second grade already. And he’s funny. He’s learning the subtleties of the knock knock joke now.
Another blog entry…another time.

Anyway, how could I get myself one of these bad boys? There’s a site called fotobed.com and guess what? They can take your favorite photos and transform them into machine washable bed linens or even, get this–shower curtains.
Now, I love Pooper more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t think I’d like to see him on my shower curtain. I’ll reserve that for a tasty shot of Marcus Schenkenberg…well, even that would make me uncomfortable. Perhaps a photo of a beagle.
The site is crazy easy to use and it’s fast. We like fast, don’t we. We also like easy. Easy seems to crop a lot in my posts. Are you seeing a trend?
Oh, the hilarity.

It’s been a long time since I’ve taken a real vacation. Lately, something has been telling me that I should go to London. I’m no Anglophile, but something is telling me ‘Go to London’ so I’m going to go with it. I wish that voice would give me winning lottery numbers, but that’s a post for another day. I’m looking to explore, so maybe after London, I’ll get myself to take a different kind of holiday.

Some people are saying that holidays in Tenerife might fit the bill. I would love to go to Spain. I speak the lingo AND, I adore tapas. Plus, the men are way cute. Javier Bardem comes to mind…niiiice.
All I know is that I want an easy, no fuss way of booking cheap flights. It wouldn’t hurt if I could book an all inclusive trip, ya know? I like easy and cheap. Heck, I AM easy and cheap. Ha ha…easy, cheap…get it?
So, if you’re lookin’ for a great, easy way to book a trip overseas, you know what to do, right?

I’ll be sippin’ my sangria, soakin’ up the rays and greasin’ on some tasty tapas very shortly.
Well, in my dreams at least. Crazier things have happened, right? Hey, just look at our President.
Oh, that was mean spirited. But funny. And mildly political. Hmm…the Pfunk is rockin’ some social commentary.
Wow

Will I go out this fine evening? Even though I am broke as can be, it might be a good idea to go downtown and watch the Halloween Parade in the Village. It’s fun to see the little ones all dressed up and the BIG ones all decked out. Lady Bunny is sure to be out and I always get a kick out of that glamorpuss. She’s got GREAT wigs. Total hair hopper, man.

So, maybe I’ll have something groovy to report. Maybe I’ll hook up with my pals at my former local. Maybe Ethan Hawke will take a shower for the occasion. Oh, that kid. I love him, but he’s a mess. I want to take him aside and just give him a good scrubbing. Seriously. Maybe he’s gonna go as Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. Hmmm. That could work.

I’m just gonna throw on a pair of jeans and a blouse and call it a day. It’s a bittersweet day for me anyway.  Hope you all have a blast.

Talk to you soon.

You know, most Americans are swimming in a pool of debt. While I am one broke ho, I actually don’t have much debt to speak of…which is convenient since I don’t have much money. Okay, ANY money. The credit card companies make it seem so easy to have everything that you want for seemingly nothing. Most folks don’t read the fine print. They want what they think is a free ride to material goods town. Stop and think. Nothing is free, peeps. In order to get a handle on your finances, you’ve got to understand how credit works. Ideally, you will need to carry a balance on your credit cards in order for the companies to make money off of you. They’re basically extending to you a loan. They’re gonna charge you interest. If you pay your balance off every month, you’re sorta screwing them. They don’t like that. They like for you to have just enough to remain in debt.

Do what you can to educate yourself  and get the right information.
I know someone who is over 35K in debt. Just from credit cards. That is nuts! Sure, she’s got all of the best clothes, shoes, jewelry and the like, but damn, man…how important is it to have Christian Laboutin shoes when you can’t afford to buy groceries? Crazy. She’s working just to keep the credit folks off her back. Debt consolidation may be her way out, I don’t know, but it’s worth doing the research.

 Get the information to arm yourself appropriately, guys.
We all could use debt help so get yourself together. Educate yourself. Don’t be fooled by the come-ons that you get in the mail. If you can’t afford something, you can’t afford it.
I learned a great lesson from my Dad. He never used his credit cards. He paid for everything with cash. We bought our cars, took vacations all on cash. If he didn’t have it in his pocket, he didn’t get it.
The credit cards were used primarily for business transactions. He paid them off quickly. Here’s the funny thing, though. The same man who did this, didn’t help me with my credit cards. He told me he would. I had to learn the hard way.
Don’t fall prey to the enticing offers. Get what you can handle, ya dig?

Just when I thought my life was getting too much to handle, I turned on the television to find that SOME traditions are in place–from my childhood, anyway.

“It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” is on. I am very, very happy.

Linus and Snoopy are my two favorite characters. Even now, I own all of the Peanuts movies. A particular fave is  “Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown” because there is a great sequence with Snoopy in a bar that is priceless.

Ah, the joys of the great pumpkin….

Enjoy, kids.

Yesterday was a beautifully cool, crisp autumn day and I spent it grocery shopping. That is usually a drag for most people, but it is absolute heaven for someone who adores cooking as much as I do, lemme tell ya.

First, I went to my local market to pick up a pork shoulder for my pernil. (guess who forgot to buy garlic, the key ingredient? yep. say it with me: MORON) There was a sale on tuna. This brought me tremendous pleasure. You KNOW I got my fill. You know, I have friends who have a hard time shopping for groceries. They actually hate going to the grocery store. It’s the one time I love to go shopping. Clothes or shoe shopping I can live without, but give me a nice green grocer or a good butcher shop and I’m in heaven. Maybe I need a keeper. Maybe I need to get a life…I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m happy to have full cupboards.

It’s the one thing I have control over these days.