Pfunksfoolosophy

Today is my nephew/son Tristan’s birthday.
It’s a bittersweet day because he’s currently in jail. He fell in with a stupid crowd of miscreants
and he’s the one to take the fall.
He’s such a sweet, funny, intelligent young man. He’s creative and he’s energetic, but to be
perfectly frank, he’s depressed.
His mom died when he was 2 and he’s just now gotten to know his father and is father’s side
of the family. Adding to this is the fact that I am the only mother he’s known and I moved to
California when he was around 10 or 11.
Stupidly, I thought that I had created a strong enough foundation and set up a great support system for him so that when I moved, he wouldn’t fall by the wayside.
I was wrong. My mother is the grandmother. She didn’t step up simply because she’s relied on
me for so long that I think a part of her felt that I could magically nurture him from 3,000
miles away.
I did the best that I could. My brother, selfish prick that he is, only added to the tension
and confusion. Instead of being a positive role model, my brother often came home drunk and verbally abusive.
He berated when he could have nurtured.
A huge part of me feels heartsick that I didn’t have the energy to remain home until
both kids were older.
I was exhausted. Being an instant mom at 21 was difficult, but when you’re young you don’t think; you just dive right in. I did the best that I could with the tools that I had and now
my lovely young man is in jail.
He’s alone on his birthday. Well, he’s not alone. He’s with criminals who never had the homelife
that he had.
He can’t reminisce about game night or our many mystery rides.
My baby is locked up and sad.
He’s fighting for his life with Corrections Officers who see him as just another nigger who
got what he deserved and they’re likely treating him horribly, speaking to him as if he
wasn’t human.
Tristan isn’t some innocent babe in the woods, he was caught with marijuana. A joint’s worth.
He was targeted because of the company he kept.
He was hardheaded and didn’t listen when I urged him to cultivate a better class of
associates and now he’s paying the price.
It doesn’t hurt any less.

Happy birthday, T-man. Keep working to make the future I know you can create.
A future that is positive and productive.
The future your mother wanted for you and the future that I see for you.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 6th, 2007 at 3:29 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.