Pfunksfoolosophy

Well, as you know dear readers,  I’m still on my quest for a romantic partner. Since I am frugal (a nice way of saying cheap) I am utilizing Craigslist, which is a great place to get stuff, but I’m unsure if it’s such a hot place to meet men. Sure, if you’re looking for a little bit of the ’shush’ you’re going to find it there. Remember the penis photos? Yeah, they’re not going to stop, I’m afraid.

Anyway, I placed another ad that was funny, concise and apparently rife with sexual innuendo because I am still receiving offers for a ’sensual time’. I have no idea what that means. My ad didn’t even address kissing. It’s my opinion that if you’re female and you place an ad, there is a hidden message sent to all of the sexually frustrated men within the tri-state area. Still, I am optimistic.

A couple of the guys who responded were funny, smart and quirky enough to pique my interest and it’s going well…to a point. One guy sent me his telephone number as we both felt the email exchange was going great and I called him. When he answered the phone he was eating. I  asked him if he wanted to call me back after he was finished and he told me no. Now, if he and I were old friends I would have told him that his smacking and heavy chomping was killing me but instead I tried to drop subtle hints.  He didn’t get it. I was  annoyed. He kept talking.  It really bothered me. The other thing that I couldn’t stand was that instead of telling me that he couldn’t hear me very well, he kept saying ‘HUH?!’. Why did that bother me? I don’t know. I think I was just annoyed with him to begin with due to the smacking and talking and heavy breathing. Is this guy an asthmatic? I am and I can fully understand, but jiminy christmas.

Okay, so we commence to talking about writing and movies–two of my favorite subjects. Seems he’s got a dim view of the publishing world, chiefly because of his inability to get himself published. I sense that he’s a bitter person, but I forge ahead because making snap judgments isn’t my style. At some point, he’s got to say something amusing or at least interesting. He interviews me for about 15 minutes, but I suspect it’s just to get to know me. But it DOES feel like he’s grilling me. How do I extricate myself from the conversation? Miracle of miracles, my friend calls me and I am released!
Here’s the tricky part…he calls me back later.

He tells  me that our conversation was ‘interesting’. I am not interested. He seems  sweet  enough, but he’s older than I would like and he’s just sorta like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. I think he fancies himself some kind of literary rebel. He may very well be one, but he just seems bitter and jaded and wholly self-involved.

We end up talking for about a half an hour. Well, ‘we’ is a loose one…HE kept talking. I stopped listening the moment he told me that his favorite band  was The Rolling Stones. Me no likee. That’s just nuts, right? I have got to figure out a way to get rid of this guy, but I’ve got nothing in my arsenal. He keeps talking.

Well, here’s the long and the short  of it: I don’t want to hurt his feelings because you take a great big risk emotionally when you answer a personals ad to begin with and taking it to the telephone level and THEN striking out? That’s got to suck. I’m no prize, though. He’s got to be thinking, ‘This chick is a bore and a half. She’s not even talking. She’s grunting or murmuring. Must be a frickin’ genius.’

Looks like I’m going to take the coward’s way out. That’s right, the time honored ‘fade away’. He’s really left me no choice. I simply don’t like the negativity. He’s a downer, man. SO, instead of telling him that, I’m gonna pull back. It’s my only hope. On the positive side, he may not call or email me again. Poor kid. Hope he gets home okay.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 at 1:50 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.