Pfunksfoolosophy

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Larry King creeps me out for a number of reasons, but the main thing is this: He lacks tact. While I am not some kind of huge Marie Osmond fan, I like to think of her as the sister I never wanted. She’s been a part of my life for a long time and I feel sorta protective of a woman who tells corny jokes AND laughs at them. I had a friend who worked with her brother Donny when he was in “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat” and was  told that Donny was a stand up guy. I dig that. No diva moments. Cool…and while we’re at it, Marie is kickin’ butt on “Dancing with the Stars”…so when Larry dropped the ‘So, your son is in rehab’ business, I wanted to pimp slap him. It’s really none of our business.

I think she’s got enough going on without Larry King just throwing it out there. Sure, as a celebrity you give up your right to privacy–to a point. It would have been nice if he had asked her if she wanted to discuss that prior to air time. I only saw a clip of it and the look on her face said it all. Since I’m pretty sure she would never say the ‘f’ word, she still had that ‘WTF?’ look on her face. I wouldn’t have blamed her for saying “WTF?”–matter of fact, I would go right out and buy a copy of “Paper Roses” and play it in her honor.

Larry, I just don’t get you, man. Tact. Get some.

Marie, if you happen onto this blog, know that my kid thinks you’re pretty groovy with the corny jokes. You can adopt her. You’ll have more controversy. You’ll also be an instant grandma. Let me know what you want to do about visitation rights. AND keep your chin up. I’m sending you chocolate. It helps.

Larry King…oy.
Thus ends my rambling rant.

I’ve got friends from all walks of life, from many different countries and I’ve dated like I was a representative from the United Nations, so I can tell you I love nothing better than a good accent. The challenge is that many of my friends have grandparents or parents who have had a rough go of it here in the states when it came to employment…due to their thick accents.
My friend Erik’s dad was an Engineering professor back in Russia, but here he was a cab driver, a janitor and finally a superintendant at an apartment building. His accent was and IS just too thick. I think it’s charming and cute, but there is a stigma attached and that’s unfortunate.
My friend Ana, whose mom came from Puerto Rico with little more than the clothes on her back and a desire for a more glamorous life, had a thick, thick accent. It used to make me laugh because it was so cute when she was going to nursing school.
Now, even though she’s been here for at least 30 years, she’s made the decision to lose her accent. She’s thinking about accent training and while I will miss her saying things like “You don’t told me nothing” when she means “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know”, I know that she’ll be taken seriously as she moves forward in her quest for administrative duties in Nursing.
It’s important to be understood and it’s vital that we respect one another enough to communicate well.
Heck, I’ve got Scottish friends that I’ve had trouble understanding. It’s really a win/win for anyone who wants to reduce their accent.
I wonder if my dad’s people in Mississippi would qualify?
Heh…you know Southern folks have their own language.

Good luck out there…

What’s been going on with me? Not a whole heck of a lot, really. Lately, I’ve been very, very introspective which can be both a blessing and a curse when you think about it.
Too much time on my hands to think is almost a sure fire way for me to get into trouble.
As the holidays approach I suppose I become more and more wistful. I’ve experienced a lot of death in my life and the holidays make the losses seem more pronounced. I also have the time to re-evaluate my existing relationships. What are you willing to tolerate from others? You probably remember that I’m only going to keep about 30 friends for the rest of my life, right?
It was fifty, but I don’t think I need that many. It’s hard to keep track of that many and quite frankly, I don’t wish to keep in contact. So, before the new year, I’m going to do some pruning. It’s necessary. What purpose does it serve to hang on to a relationship that has no purpose? If you’re not in contact with the person at least once a month, guess what? It’s pretty much over.
Now, there are exceptions. You have friends with whom you don’t have to communicate every week or even every month. These friends have a place in your soul and that’s groovy. They are few and far between…but you know who I’m talking about…the folks who expect you to remain where you are…in that one place, that one image of how they perceive you to be, and when you’re not there, they act stricken. Too bad. Cut ‘em loose. They’re not terribly concerned about your development and chances are they’re more concerned with their own lives to even notice that you’ve dropped ‘em. Mourn the loss for a bit and move on.
It’s liberating to excise the unnecessary weight from my spirit. Try it…it may just get you moving in the right direction. You can’t always keep friends around just because you’ve got a history. Sometimes the season has played out. Recognize it and keep on steppin’.
Try not to place blame, just ackowledge that it’s time to change. You can do it. You’ll be surprised how good it feels, actually.
Also take some time to process it all. It’s strange, but it’s vital to your growth, guys. Don’t hang on just because; move forward because you must. Some folks are gonna hang on and some folks need to hang up. It’s okay. Keep growing. I know I’m trying…

Today is Veteran’s Day, but it will be celebrated tomorrow.

My dad served in Korea and was a drill sergeant in Junction City, KS–Fort Riley, the home of the famous ‘Big Red One’. He never talked about the war, but my mom tells me that he suffered from ’shell shock’, which we call ‘post traumatic stress disorder’ today. Maybe that’s why he drank. I’ll never know, but I do know that my family has a long history with the military, dating back to at least the Civil War. My nephew expressed interest in joining the military and I told him that it would break my heart if he enlisted. Especially now.

While I respect and love our military men and women and wish to honor them, I feel that my family has done the best it could in the way of defending this nation. I’m going to adopt the same attitude as many of our nation’s  leaders: let someone else’s kid do it.

I hope to help out my homeless vets tomorrow. I’m going to make some sandwiches and take them down to them. It’s the least I can do since our country abandoned them. You should hear some of the stories of these guys. All of them are Vietnam Vets. They got hooked on drugs during the war–some of it administered by the powers that be and some of it because they wanted to dull the pain of combat. When they were discharged, they had little in the way of support and slowly fell through the cracks.

Pray for them. Think about them and the men and women who are coming back broken and weary. We owe them our devotion–even if we don’t agree with the war,which I know I don’t.

Happy Veteran’s Day.

Every now and then I get this feeling that makes me want to just walk out of my building and never look back. Keep on going until I get where my feet take me, ya know? Most of the time, my logical self speaks up loud and clear and reminds me that I have needs to attend to; family members depend on me and I can’t be selfish. Invariably, I take nice long trips to the South of France or to Tuscany in my mind. I go to the library and check out some books. Freedom comes in many forms, but it begins in your mind.

If you can’t possibly take that much needed vacation, why not immerse yourself in a nicely written book of fiction? Heck, you could get a well written biography and take off with Theodore Roosevelt, Rosa Parks or…even Liza Minnelli.

Take the time to quiet your mind and set aside your challenges. Pick up a book. If reading isn’t your thing, get a good movie or some new music. The library is free and they’ve got all sorts of media to keep you satisfied. Freedom is there…it’s there, guys.

Swim out to your ship if it’s not coming in fast enough. Swim out to it.

Now that I live in NYC and don’t own a car, I don’t think too much about parking problems, but I have friends with cars who live in the Boston /Cambridge area and they’re always complaining. It’s a hassle to find anything when you drive up there, so finding Harvard Square parking was a dream come true. You probably can’t pahk yah cah in Hahvahd Yahd unless you know someone, let me tell ya. It was a horrible time for me when I dated a guy in Cambridge. I probably spent more time cruising around trying to find a spot than I did in his apartment. (that’s a LIE! A LIE!)

I wish I had the convenience of going to a website to do a little research back then. Heck, I wish I had a computer back then. I think it was called ‘Commodore 64′, but I could be wrong. Whoa, I’m digressing.

You can find other places around but one site can help you find what you need. Gotta park your car, right?

Well, today is my pal Angie’s birthday. You all know Angie; she’s the one with that Florida blog that you all are reading. It’s called The Suncoast Scribe. She’s got a couple other ones… a girly one and one clear dot. She USED to have another one called Plus 1, but you have heard my rant about that.

Anyway, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday. She’s funny, she’s sensitive, she’s got a wicked sense of humor and she humors me when I launch into one of my fantasies about Liza Minnelli dancing with Jan Michael Vincent at my wedding to James Garner.

(I really don’t want to marry James Garner, but you get my drift.)

She’s a good friend and I am thankful and blessed to have her in my life. Angie is a true gift. She’s the kind of friend who you KNOW is giggling at her computer when you’re instant messaging–to the point of bringing herself to a nice little asthma attack. You can HEAR the wheezing as she’s trying to suppress a laugh.  I love that about her. She’s also smart. You can’t find better. I’m trying to get her to date, so get the thoughts out there for some good dating ju-ju. I’ve since given up on myself. I’m just no good. heh…

I hope her evening is stress free and that she’s appreciating the beauty of another year on this planet.  Man, I wish I could send her some pastries from Rocco’s down in the West Village. She would enjoy that. I’ll figger out a way to get her some cool stuff.

Maybe I’ll make her a NYC type care package. Outdated Metrocards, subway maps, photos of some bums fighting…ya never know.

Oh, Ang Lee…Happiest of birthdays! Many, many, many more!
 

The wildfires in Southern California have me nearly glued to the internet for updates because I’ve got friends who are firefighters and friends who are residents of Southern Cal. Where are folks going if they’re displaced? There’s the Blanche Dubois deal: relying on the kindness of strangers, but by and large, folks who are just plain outta luck have a possible solution.

They might be able to take advantage of custom corporate housing to meet their needs.
I would imagine that they’ll offer good rates and from what I hear, they’re giving these folks who have been ousted from their homes due to the current situation, preference.
That’s an awesom idea and it does my heart good to know that folks can find a safe haven in times of need. My friends who come to New York often stay in corporate housing that their companies spring for and the amenities are usually better than a regular hotel. It feels more like home when you’re there. You can cook for yourself, have internet access and have the convenience of housekeeping.
So, if you have friends in SoCal who are looking for a place…direct them to custom corporate housing.

It’s a win/win, baby.

What is UP with that woman Kim? She is NOT a cool trainer. I don’t like her. She’s not cool, man. I feel bad for that poor “B”. He’s cute, so maybe I’ve got a little crush on him. He’s  married, so relax, I’m not gonna go all “Fatal Attraction” on him.

The thing is, he really tries hard and he’s  got a rotten trainer. Jillian is my girl, as you know. She used to be fat.  She gets it. She doesn’t make nasty comments when her folks are slacking off. She does the groovy thing: she keeps pushing them and tells them to shut it. She’s also funny to me somehow.

I’ll bet you’re  wondering why I’m so invested in this show. I wonder that as well, since you know how I feel about reality shows. This one is compelling because I am a fat person who doesn’t  have self esteem issues. It breaks my heart to see people feel badly about themselves because they’re overweight. It lifts my spirits to see folks accomplish their goals. THAT is why I can’t  stand that Kim person. She just wants to ‘win’. Bob and Jillian actually want these folks to change their lives.

This week was compelling because they went ‘green’. Being broke, I have no choice but to walk everywhere and not use gym equipment. It was fun to watch, though. I’m on the fence about that Amy chick. She seems like she’s  doggin’ it. AND she complains  a lot. I sometimes want to slap her around. BUT, but…she stepped it up this week and my girl Kae is still in the running. I feel for her, man. She’s  a real pistol.

SO, as a sign of solidarity I do NOT eat ice cream during the viewing process. I wait until the next day…then I take a walk.